Donald Trump started his weekend by yelling at America's women.
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Adjudicated rapist and self-professed molester of women Donald Trump has a message for the country’s female voters… and it’s in all caps, so it must be important.
Donald Trump on Friday night took to his social media website to lecture the country’s women on how much better off they were four years ago, when all they had to do was worry about whether they and their loved ones would survive a pandemic that has cost more than one million lives in the US (he did not say that last part, just the thing about how everything was awesome for them).
“WOMEN ARE POORER THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE LESS HEALTHY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE LESS SAFE ON THE STREETS THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE MORE DEPRESSED AND UNHAPPY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, AND ARE LESS OPTIMISTIC AND CONFIDENT IN THE FUTURE THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO!” Trump wrote in a visually assaulting Truth Social post that should go over very well with women who love having old men explain to them how they are doing and feeling.
Fortunately for America’s women, he is on the case.
“I WILL FIX ALL OF THAT, AND FAST, AND AT LONG LAST THIS NATIONAL NIGHTMARE WILL BE OVER. WOMEN WILL BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, CONFIDENT AND FREE!” the former president wrote.
This will be welcome news to all of those women who have no agency over their own lives, can’t take care of themselves, and need a man like Trump to fix everything for them.
And just as a reminder that the former president has a proven track record of making things better for women, he noted that they “WILL NO LONGER BE THINKING ABOUT ABORTION.”
That’s because, thanks to him, that issue now rests with the states.
This will be music to the ears of women in states with abortion bans and restrictions.
But even they can find a home in Trump’s pro-woman paradise. After all, he supports “POWERFUL EXCEPTIONS, LIKE THOSE THAT RONALD REAGAN INSISTED ON, FOR RAPE, INCEST, AND THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER.”
That’s right, suburban women who find Trump gross and his running mate JD Vance weird, but would have liked Ronald Reagan — it’s time to get behind the GOP ticket.
Because, if not, those non-existent Democratic post-birth baby executioners are just waiting around the corner to take it all away.
Trump followed up his late-night rant with another offer for women who are willing to buy all of that. On Saturday, he unveiled the launch of the official “Trump Coin,” which gullible fools proud supporters can purchase for a mere $100, or “just” three times as much as the cost of the silver used to make them.
