Subscribe

Politics

Ronny Jackson, 117th Congress
Rep. Ronny Jackson (D-Texas) official portrait for the 117th U.S Congress. Photo credit: US House / Wikimedia and Architect of the Capitol (AOC) / Flickr (PD)

After Donald Trump bungled his former doctor’s name while bragging about his mental abilities, that poor guy will now have to change his name just to prove the former president right.

Listen To This Story
Voiced by Amazon Polly

Bad news for Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-TX): He is going to have to change his name after Donald Trump repeatedly referred to him as “Ronny Johnson” on Saturday when he called on President Joe Biden to take a cognitive test. 

Read that sentence again and really think about what happened here… and we swear we are not making any of this up.

As we will note in tomorrow’s editorial, the GOP is killing satire… just absolutely murdering it.

Here is a guy who is clearly losing it but keeps bragging about acing a test for dementia patients… all while challenging his opponent to have his cognitive abilities tested. And then he can’t even remember the name of his White House doctor (who is now a congressman and an outspoken MAGA cult member). 

“I think he should take a cognitive test like I did,” Trump said of Biden during a speech on Saturday. “I took a cognitive test and I aced it. Doc Ronny. Doc Ronny Johnson. Does everybody know Ronny Johnson, congressman from Texas?”

Nope, nobody does because he does not exist.

Here is the thing: People forget names all the time. Jimmy Connors, Jimmy Carter… it can all be very confusing. However, there are times when you really don’t want to screw that up.

For example, when you are about to propose, you’re going to want to get the name right. 

“Rebecca, you are the only woman I have ever loved. Will you marry me?”

“Umm, my name is Madison.”

That’s probably the number one circumstance where you don’t want to mess up.

However, second place might go to presidential candidates bragging about their memories who are trying to make the supposed senility of their opponent a major campaign theme.

That’s also not the best time for calling your former doctor Johnson and not Jackson. 

By the way, the two of them met yesterday, according to Jackson’s Twitter account. 

“It was the PLEASURE of a LIFETIME speaking at President Trump’s birthday celebration yesterday,” he wrote. “One thing remains CLEAR – Donald J. Trump is as STRONG as EVER and the ONLY man ready to lead America back to the promised land.”

Sure, pal, sounds right. But somebody will have to point him in the right direction.

So, what’s going to happen next?

Everybody knows that the former president can’t stand being wrong. So, usually, in a case like this, he would just attempt to gaslight Americans into believing that he did not say the thing he clearly said.

However, since the Biden campaign already put out a video mocking Trump, there is only one thing to do: Jackson will have to take one for Team MAGA, claim that he had planned for years to change his name to Johnson, and swear an oath on the Bible that he asked Trump to make the announcement. 

It’s either that or pretend that this was some kind of inside joke concocted between the two of them when he was the former president’s doctor in the White House. 

Does that sound ridiculous?

Absolutely.

But could it happen?

At this point, nothing would surprise us.

Author

  • Klaus Marre

    Klaus Marre is a senior editor for Politics and director of the Mentor Apprentice Program at WhoWhatWhy. Follow him on Twitter @KlausMarre.

    View all posts

Comments are closed.