Want to convince Joe Biden to drop out? You don’t need polls or good arguments... just stage an act of God.
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Even in serious times, it’s important for people to not lose their sense of humor. Therefore, we offer a tongue-in-cheek solution to the Democrats’ Joe Biden problem.
As voices in his own party are growing louder that Joe Biden should drop out of the presidential race, he has been very defiant about staying in.
A terrible debate performance, the increasing skepticism of Americans over whether he can do the job for another four years (or even next week), or grave concern among Democratic lawmakers and donors about their chances in November… none of this seems to concern Biden.
He is going to stay the course, no matter how much this boosts Donald Trump’s chances of becoming president, and no matter what anybody says.
Anybody?
Not quite.
During an interview Friday night with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, Biden shared who could convince him to leave the race: God himself.
“If you can be convinced that you cannot defeat Donald Trump, will you stand down?” Stephanopoulos asked.
“It depends on — on if the Lord Almighty comes down and tells me that, I might do that,” Biden responded.
Great, problem solved!
All the Democrats have to do is to stage a divine intervention.
In light of Biden’s constitution, that doesn’t appear to be overly complicated.
They just have to hide a loudspeaker in the White House residence and wait for Biden to go to bed. According to the president, they don’t even have to wait that long. He recently told Democratic governors that he would no longer schedule appointments after 8:00 p.m. — because nothing says, “I’m in tiptop shape and not at all frail,” like an early bedtime.
And then, they need to find an actor with a pleasant voice to pretend to be God.
We would suggest Morgan Freeman, but it’s not clear where his allegiances lie in this election.
However, there is no shortage of Democrats in Hollywood or on Broadway, so this should not be overly difficult.
And, while they are on a recruiting trip to LA or New York, they can also pick up a fog machine or some other special effect.
Then, to make it totally believable, maybe start with some Latin, so that Biden knows it’s actually his God.
“Joe, you did great. I’m very proud of you. Getting rid of that heathen in 2020 was my will,” the voice should say. “Two Corinthians? C’mon! Oh, by the way, this is the Almighty. Listen, we both know that you have lost a couple of steps, so you’d be doing me a solid if you dropped out of the race tomorrow. It’s time for somebody else to take over. Maybe go out there and announce that you support an open primary since you are my champion of democracy.”
That should probably do it.
You’re welcome, Democrats.
