We Are Outraged by the Trump Loyalty Pledge… Because It Doesn’t Go Far Enough

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During Don Con, the GOP’s midterm convention/Trump Worshipalooza that wrapped up on Thursday night, the president raised some eyebrows when he led the faithful in a pledge to Him.

In response, a lot of liberal pantywaists were wringing their hands in faux outrage, lamenting that, in the US, the pledge of allegiance is to the flag and the republic for which it stands, and not to “the greatest president in the history of the United States.”

Trump: "Please right your right hand. I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States. That loves us so much he can't even breath. That I will go out with my family, my friends, I'll do it any way — I don't care if I'm registered or not, I'm going to try… pic.twitter.com/ywiYe8ZIdu

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 11, 2026

Boohoo, pinkos, cry me a river!

There is a long tradition in Western countries to pledge allegiance to individual leaders. Germany did it for a while, and so did Italy.

The same pearl-clutchers also had a problem with a video that played during the first day of the MAGA synod in Dallas on Wednesday.

Wow — RNC video: "On June 14th, 1946, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, 'I need a caretaker,' so God gave us Trump."

It only gets more unhinged and culty from there. pic.twitter.com/ODodFGc43k

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 11, 2026

“On June 14, 1946, God looked down on His planned paradise and said, ‘I need a caretaker,’ so God gave us Trump,” the video began before extolling the virtues of the Savior and calling the president a “man who cares for the flock” and a “shepherd to mankind who won’t ever leave or ever forsake them.”

That’s all well and good, but we don’t think any of this is going far enough… and neither are the Trump banners in Washington, DC, the president’s face on coins and passports, or His name on buildings.

Or Him demanding allegiance, encouraging His supporters to cheat in the upcoming midterms, or saying that they will go to hell if they don’t.

What the country and the GOP need right now is obviously more Trump.

That’s certainly how the president feels, and who are we to question His impeccable judgment?

So here are some things we suggest as Americans get ready to vote in one of the most consequential midterms in history.

First of all, there should be a Pledge of Trumplegiance at all sporting events instead of the national anthem. Americans love pomp and circumstance, and they love their president, as is evidenced by the real polls He has seen and that show His popularity.

Also, while that GOP video is a good start, it’s important to remind people that Trump is, essentially, the Messiah.

Earlier this year, a Truth Social post made this very clear. Unfortunately, we cannot link to it because the president humbly deleted it (although this one is still on His social media site).

One way to drive this home would be to make some modest changes to the Lord’s Prayer.

“Our President, who art in Mar-a-Lago, hallowed be thy name,” would be a good beginning.

Other changes could be, “Give us this day our $5,000 from tariff revenue,” and “Deliver us from the dumocrats.”

Another thing is that the fake news has made a big deal out of the president’s hairdo. 

That’s an unnecessary distraction that could be prevented by simply placing a golden crown upon His head when He is in public.

And perhaps some sort of ermine robe. And a scepter.

While we are at it, Trump should also be given a signet ring that people who want an audience with Him should kiss.

Also, let’s be honest, Americans probably want to see more gold and adornments in the Oval Office.

They like that stuff, just like the ballroom, which is why Republicans should definitely talk a lot about it on the campaign trail… right after swearing the Trump Oath, which should be a requirement for any candidate who wants His coveted endorsement.

Another thing Americans like is success, which is why GOP candidates ought to highlight how well the president and His heirs are doing financially.

Think about it: He added more than $2 billion to His wealth in just one year. Granted, the economy is the best that it has ever been — which is something else Republicans should mention a lot on the stump so that His subjects don’t forget how lucky they are to live in the Golden Age — but it is still remarkable.

And if the uncanny ability of His sons to identify investments that promptly pay off when the government showers their companies with lush contracts isn’t a case of divine intervention, then we don’t know what is.  

Another thing Republicans should mention a lot is how His Magnificence has kept His promise to lower costs, and how the things that are still more expensive now (because of Joe Biden) will definitely get cheaper right after the election.

Oh, and how they will prosper if they allow data centers in their backyards, as Trump has decreed.

Which brings us to obedience. It would behoove Americans to be a little bit more compliant, especially since they can be assured of pardons and lavish rewards if they do their president’s bidding.

Finally, Trump’s likeness and name need to be on a lot more stuff.

Now that the first $1 coins have been minted, why stop there? His face should also be on bills and stamps and, as he has humbly suggested, on Mount Rushmore.

Or the Strait of Hormuz, whose existence voters should be reminded of as often as possible, and not just when they are headed to a gas station.

Another thing GOP candidates should bring up as much as possible is the Trump tariffs, which have brought unprecedented prosperity to Americans. Sometimes, with all of that abundance they are currently experiencing, it’s easy to forget that they owe it all to their president.

And any Republican who doesn’t mention all of these things or who fails to give Him credit should not get the vote of any Trump-fearing MAGA adherent.

It’s as simple as that.

Hail Trump!