Tommy Tuberville, Volodymyr Zelenskyy
Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL). Photo credit: President Of Ukraine / Flickr

In America, anyone can grow up to become a senator... even a washed-up football coach.

Listen To This Story
Voiced by Amazon Polly

The American people can be quite the pranksters. One of their most hilarious recent jokes is that they elected Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) to the Senate. In a topsy-turvy political world, it still defies belief that this happened. 

Don’t get us wrong, if playing football for a Division II college, in this case the Southern Arkansas Muleriders, and then transitioning from that accomplishment to becoming an assistant high school football coach qualifies one for the Senate, then Tuberville would be an excellent choice.

Sadly, it does not, and his not-so-illustrious college coaching career also has done little to prepare him for his work as a senator.

That has not stopped him from weighing in on the important issues of the day with the certainty of someone who knows nothing about everything. 

It would not be so weird if he had been elected to the House and joined the growing cast of GOP misfits and weirdos there. After all, gerrymandering all but assured that this would happen. Then again, Alabamans would elect any Republican, especially one endorsed by Donald Trump, even if he were just a washed up football coach. 

In any case, with the confidence of someone who most recently coached the University of Cincinnati Bearcats to a 4-8 record in 2016, Tuberville on Monday traveled to New York to support the man to whom he owes his political career. 

What he found there appalled Coach so much that he simply had to tell the media about it. 

At a press conference outside the courthouse in which Trump is being tried, Tuberville mused about whether the setting of the trial is some sort of sophisticated psychological operation to dampen the former president’s spirits. 

Noting that the courtroom was “depressing,” Coach suggested this was probably intentional to hurt Trump. 

“Mental anguish is trying to be pushed on the Republican candidate for the presidency of the United States,” he said. Mind you, other people are tried in the very same courtroom all the time.

Tuberville joined a growing list of GOP lawmakers who are showing up at the trial to lend their support to Trump… and remind him that they would make excellent vice presidential candidates. 

He also made a nonsensical remark about the “supposedly American citizens in the courtroom,” before getting back to safer and more familiar territory by saying that this trial was the “Super Bowl” for District Attorney Alvin Bragg. 

But what really upset Coach was the disrespect shown to the defendant. 

“I’m hearing, ‘Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump.’ He is former President Trump,” Tuberville said emphatically, giving a glimpse into the inspiring halftime speeches he must have given in the job that in no way qualified him to be a senator. “Give him some respect.”

A quick perusal of Coach’s Twitter feed, however, shows that he does not consider everybody as deserving of such respect… certainly not the current president.

In this tweet, for example, it is “President Trump” while the man who beat him in 2020 is just “Biden.”

The one time we found that Tuberville bestowed an honorific on Biden is when he referred to him as “Clueless Joe.”

Apparently, the necessity of showing respect doesn’t apply to Coach. 

Tuberville did get one thing right. When talking about Michael Cohen, Trump’s former fixer who was on the witness stand, he noted that there is “no reason” why anybody should listen to a “serial liar.” 

Why indeed, Coach?


  • Klaus Marre

    Klaus Marre is a writer, editor, former congressional reporter, and director of the WhoWhatWhy Mentor Apprentice Program. Follow him on Twitter @KlausMarre.

Comments are closed.