1. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. —Henry Cate, VII

2. I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. —Adlai Stevenson

3. Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. —Author Unknown

“George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration.” Photo Credit: Brooklyn Museum / Gilbert Stuart Painting / Wikimedia / Manipulated by WhoWhatWhy

4. George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles. —Author Unknown

5. If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it. —Mark Twain

6. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything. —Joseph Stalin

“The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.” —Stalin Photo Credit: Cartoon by Thomas Nast from Harper’s Weekly / Wikimedia

7. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. —George Carlin

8.The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them. —Karl Marx

9. There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough US congressmen. —Author Unknown

10. We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice. —Woody Allen

11. If you put your politicians up for sale, as the US does … then someone will buy them — and it won’t be you; you can’t afford them. —Juan Cole

12. Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide. —Joseph P. Kennedy

“If you put your politicians up for sale … then someone will buy them — and it won’t be you; you can’t afford them.” —Juan Cole Photo Credit: Andrew Magrill / Flickr, Manipulated by WhoWhatWhy

13. By the time a man gets to be presidential material, he’s been bought ten times over. —Gore Vidal

14. When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. —J. O’Rourke

15. In a society governed passively by free markets and free elections, organized greed always defeats disorganized democracy. —Matt Taibbi

16. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem. —George Carlin

17. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. —Winston Churchill

18. Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge. —Isaac Asimov

19. Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. —Gore Vidal

“A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election,” remarked Bill Vaughan. (Though this image shows two servicemen voting by absentee ballot from Vietnam in 1968.) Photo Credit: USMC Archives / Flickr, Manipulated by WhoWhatWhy

20. A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. —Bill Vaughan

21. If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side. —Orson Scott Card

22. A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation. —James Freeman Clarke

Photo Credit: White House Historical Association / Thomas Jefferson Portrait by Rembrandt Peale / Wikimedia, Manipulated by WhoWhatWhy

A Reminder That Elections Matter and Every Vote Does Count

22 Witty Quotes About Elections