Another Modest Proposal: Let’s Help Trump by Surrounding Him With Gunslingers

Marjory Stoneman Douglas, shooting, protest
Demonstration in Washington, D.C. organized by Teens For Gun Reform in the wake of shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Photo credit: Lorie Shaull / Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

In response to the Florida school massacre, the White House had President Donald Trump participate in an unusual, media-filmed “listening” session with mourning parents and students.

Trump listened — how could he not? He is being pressured to do something about gun violence in America. This most recent slaughter, and the remarkable public response to it, led by young people, is creating a potentially inexorable emotional wave.

So he proposed a solution.

More guns.

Yup! Trump thinks the way we can stop the murderous wave that has overtaken America is by putting weapons into the hands of amateur sheriffs — who, he insists, will stop the marauders in their tracks.

On Twitter yesterday morning, Trump declared that “A ‘gun free’ school is a magnet for bad people.”

What we need, he says, is to have some adults at the schools — not security guards, but teachers, administrators, and others — carrying concealed weapons.

This makes a lot of sense. In fact, everyone who feels threatened — who is around people who have grudges, or bad tempers, or seem a bit unhinged — ought to support this concept.

concealed carry

Photo credit: US Air Force

Based on Trump’s own criteria, one place, surely, that qualifies as needing ‘responsible adults’ packing hidden guns would be:

  • The White House. Some pretty famous folks have opined that there’s a madman on the loose there. And worry that he could blow up the whole world.
  • The Greater Trump Orbit. We hear that women have been assaulted by some sexual predator who thinks he can get away with anything — and apparently is right.
  • The Trump Household. Those poor Trump wives and ex-es. They must live in fear. Why not encourage them to carry a stylish and petite firearm in their bejeweled purses, and train them for accuracy, should they ever be put in a scary and potentially dangerous situation?
  • Trump Hotels. Is it safe to venture into those places without being well armed? Concealed weapons for all drinkers and guests who would responsibly and effectively utilize their instrument.
  • While we’re at it, all those people who felt threatened by Trump when they worked for him really should be packing “protection.”

Finally, Trump thinks that anyone carrying concealed weapons should have special training and/or a military background. Which is a great idea — since everyone knows that people who were trained to kill in the military never bring those skills to bear on civilians (aside from a few PTSD sufferers who occasionally make the headlines).

It’s nice to see clear thinking and a solid way forward when lives are at stake.


Related front page panorama photo credit: Adapted by WhoWhatWhy from Donald Trump listening (Donald J. Trump / Twitter).

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