Republicans are loving "Alligator Alcatraz," a detention camp that reflects how they feel about immigrants.
Listen To This Story
|
Donald Trump on Tuesday toured an immigration detention camp in Florida affectionately known among xenophobes as the “Everglades Auschwitz.” No, that isn’t it. But it was something catchy and cruel. Maybe it was the “DeSantis Dachau,” named after Florida’s governor, who proudly showed off the facility to the president, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, and some right-wing influencers who came along for the ride? That also doesn’t sound quite right. Oh, wait, it’s the “Alligator Alcatraz.”
You see, what gets conservatives so excited about the name is the prospect of immigrants getting devoured by wild animals.
If you fail to see the appeal, then you are probably not MAGA material.
In any case, Trump visited the camp, which is supposed to house up to 3,000 immigrants and cost taxpayers $450 million annually.
In case you are wondering, that comes out to $150,000 per detainee, who, according to the president, will be the “worst of worst.” Based on the administration’s track record, that could mean anything from actual criminals to toddlers with cancer (but not people willing to testify against Kilmar Abrego Garcia. Those guys can get out of jail).
But that’s not all.
Buoyed by the sight of a bunch of cages in a tent located in the oppressive conditions of Florida’s Everglades (and perhaps in the path of a future hurricane or two), Trump was already dreaming bigger.
Because, if you can just lock up and deport people, why stop at immigrants?
At a press conference following the tour, the president mused that there were also a lot of “bad people” who “were born in our country.”
“I think we ought to get them the hell out of here too, if you want to know the truth,” Trump stated. “So maybe that’ll be the next job.”
In case you are wondering, there is a name for these people.
It’s “Americans.”
Trump isn’t the only one excited about the facility.
Ahead of his visit, Florida Republicans were offering “Alligator Alcatraz” merchandise, and right-wing influencer Benny Johnson, who got to go on the tour and asked Trump a couple of questions because he now qualifies as “press,” proudly sported some of it.
“Hi guys. I have just been handed official Alligator Alcatraz merch,” he tweeted from the camp. “I repeat, this prison has merch. Things are going insanely well.”
Yes, they are going insanely well… if you are cruel and rejoice in the inhumane treatment of migrants.
By the way, this isn’t to say that actual criminals shouldn’t be prosecuted, locked up, and/or deported, but we have very little confidence that this facility will not end up getting filled with law-abiding people who were just looking for a better life.
At this point, we are only a few steps away from Republicans hunting immigrants for sport or having the detainees of this Roncentration camp fight each other or alligators and pythons on live feeds.
Finally, at press time, we were unable to determine whether the Nazis ever sold (or handed out) Treblinka-themed steel helmets, but we are quite sure that they also felt that things were going insanely well at their camps.
In his Navigating the Insanity columns, Klaus Marre provides the kind of hard-hitting, thought-provoking, and often humorous analysis you won’t find anywhere else.