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Are you yearning for those days in April and May when Donald Trump would make up tariff rates for the world’s countries (and some island inhabited solely by penguins) on the fly, just to retract or amend them within days or even hours? Do you fondly remember the promise that the administration would conclude “90 deals in 90 days” that was made 88 days (and less than a handful of anything resembling a trade deal) ago? Do you miss watching the value of your 401(k) plunge in real time?

Well, then you are in luck.

Because, this week, it’s all going to happen again… or not.

After setting a bunch of arbitrary “reciprocal” tariff rates on his “Liberation Day” in April, Trump quickly suspended them again when US markets cratered. Supposedly, this 90-day pause was meant to give countries an opportunity to flock to the negotiating table and offer the US awesome trade deals.

“So this is unfolding exactly like we thought it would.” — Peter Navarro

White House trade adviser Peter Navarro said on April 12 that “we’ve got 90 deals in 90 days possibly pending here,” and that everything was going according to Trump’s intricate master plan.

“So this is unfolding exactly like we thought it would in a dominant scenario,” Navarro told NBC’s Meet the Press at the time, adding that the president’s unpredictability and tendency to make up policies that could upset global trade and wipe out trillions of dollars in wealth within hours was an asset.

By the way, Navarro is the same guy who also predicted that Trump’s erratic behavior would cause “a lot of countries [to] come right to us and want to bargain.”

Well, none of that has happened.

And now, after US stocks have finally recouped all of those losses they incurred because of Trump, we’re going to do it all over again.

Maybe.

Or not.

Who knows? Certainly not members of the Trump administration, who were all over the place with their predictions of what comes next.

What we do know is that the 90-day suspension of the tariffs that the president announced in April runs out this week, so, in theory, they should be back on.

But maybe they are not.

On Sunday, Kevin Hassett, the director of the National Economic Council, said that there would be “quite a bit of news this week” on trade, and that the headline would be that some of those 90 trade deals will be finalized.

In a performance that epitomizes the White House’s approach to trade, Hassett then provided a bunch of nonsensical and contradictory statements during an appearance of CBS’s Face the Nation.

“There are deadlines and there are things that are close,” he said when asked whether the July 9 deadline might be extended. “And so maybe things will push back the dead – past the deadline, or maybe they won’t. In the end, the president is going to make that judgment.”

This type of statement must be music to the ears of companies that crave certainty.

“I think that we have seen lots of deals that have been finalized by negotiators, and then the president finds things that can make them better.” — Kevin Hassett

Hassett also hinted that Trump is blowing up a bunch of agreements that have been reached because he is an idiot wants last-minute changes.

“I think that we have seen lots of deals that have been finalized by negotiators, and then the president finds things that can make them better,” he said.

By the way, the deals may not be deals at all, but rather a bunch of letters that Trump is going to send to countries to lay out his terms for them.

The letters will be sent in cases where “we’re not really satisfied with the progress,” Hassett said, while adding that “countries are racing to set deals up with us ahead of the deadline.”

Speaking of that deadline, as it turns out, it will not be this week after all, according to Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent.

“President Trump is going to be sending letters to some of our trading partners, saying that, if you don’t move things along, then, on August 1, you will boomerang back to your April 2 tariff level,” he told a visibly surprised Dana Bash on CNN’s State of the Union, who then asked whether this was a new deadline.

“It’s not a new deadline. We are saying this is when it’s happening,” Bessent said. “If you want to speed things up, have at it. If you want to go back to the old rate, that’s your choice.”

Of course, telling somebody that something will be happening by a certain date is the very definition of a deadline.

Trump also weighed in on the matter and provided much-needed clarity.

“They’re gonna be tariffs are tariffs are going to be the tariffs.” — President Donald Trump

“What are you talking about?” the president said when asked whether the tariff rates would change on July 9 or August 1.

When asked again about when the rates would change, Trump set the record straight.

“They’re gonna be tariffs are tariffs are going to be the tariffs,” he helpfully clarified before predicting that “most countries” will be “done” by Wednesday.

“Either a letter or a deal,” Trump added, before Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick, who seemed to know more about the deadline than the president, clarified that August 1 is the date, but that Trump “is setting the rates and the deals right now.”

All of this is clearly extremely well-thought out, so we are just excited for this week.

Oh, one more thing, in a late-night social media post, Trump threatened “any country aligning themselves with the anti-American policies of BRICS [a group of countries that includes China, Russia, and India] will be charged an ADDITIONAL 10 percent tariff. There will be no exceptions to this policy.”

What does that mean and who is he talking about?

Your guess is as good as ours.

All we know is that the trade circus is back in town… and the clowns are in rare form.

In his Navigating the Insanity columns, Klaus Marre provides the kind of hard-hitting, thought-provoking, and often humorous analysis you won’t find anywhere else.