What will be the impact on grocery prices of putting Pete Rose in baseball’s Hall of Fame? We asked the world’s leading experts... and the answers may not surprise you.
|
Listen To This Story
 |
Donald Trump is a highly divisive figure, which is why it is not surprising that his latest effort to bring down prices was met with applause and scorn.
On Friday night, after a long day of presidenting that included the complete abdication of the United States’ role as leader of the free world, Trump found the time to chastise Major League Baseball over not putting Pete Rose in its Hall of Fame.
“Baseball, which is dying all over the place, should get off its fat, lazy ass, and elect Pete Rose, even though far too late, into the Baseball Hall of Fame!” Trump wrote eloquently in a social media post.
What will this do to bring down prices for Americans, something that Trump promised he would do right away? We asked some of the world’s leading economists.
“I thought it was brilliant,” said Stuart Varney, the host of Everything Donald Trump Does Is Great, which airs continuously on Fox Business. “This will probably lower the prices of basic necessities by up to 25 percent across the board in the near term.”
Other experts had even higher hopes for this bold baseball-based policy initiative.
“Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame? I suspect they will be giving eggs away for free at the end of the month,” stated Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), who earned a Bachelor of Business Administration from the University of Georgia. “It is common knowledge that reinstating disgraced athletes is one of the main predictors of grocery prices plummeting, and I imagine that hasn’t changed. It’s a new day in America.”
Since Trump made his announcement around midnight on Friday night, it is yet unclear how the proposal will affect the stock prices of grocery chains.
What is clear is that the president can add one more item to his list of accomplishments.
“Promises made. Promises kept,” said retired football coach Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL). “While President Trump did not technically campaign on this issue, I believe his plan to have Pete Rose reinstated was implied when he talked about the size of Arnold Palmer’s wang.”
Tuberville confidently added that “sports fans love Trump, and if he wants Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame, then prices will go down.”
However, not all experts felt that this campaign would immediately lead to lower prices across the board.
“Pete Rose? What does that have to do with the cost of groceries? Those things aren’t related at all,” said MIT professor Josh Angrist, who won the 2021 Nobel Prize in Economics with Guido Imbens for their work on methodological contributions to the analysis of causal relationships.
Asked about whether there might be a causal relationship between Pete Rose and a sharp decrease in the cost of milk, Angrist added “How did you get my number?”
In any case, Trump is once again thinking outside the box and daring to apply unconventional approaches to the issues that matter most to the American people.
In unrelated news, head DOGEster Elon Musk canceled the annual White House Easter Egg Roll citing its exorbitant costs.
This is satire — apart from every quote from Donald Trump.
In his Navigating the Insanity columns, Klaus Marre provides the kind of hard-hitting, thought-provoking, and often humorous analysis you won’t find anywhere else.
