Would anybody be surprised if Donald Trump tried to sell gasoline at inflated prices to Florida residents trying to escape Hurricane Milton? Not us!
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We are four weeks away from wrapping up one of the craziest election cycles in recent memory… well, at least the pre-litigation portion of it. In large part, this is owed to the fact that Donald Trump is a patently ridiculous figure and has turned the GOP into a weird cult, which he has sought to capitalize on in ludicrous ways. Therefore, we sometimes use satire to illustrate the absurdity of it all. This is one of those times.
Donald Trump on Wednesday morning announced on his Truth Social website that he is offering a special deal to the tens of thousands of Floridians who are desperate to escape the path of Hurricane Milton but may be stranded because gas stations in the Tampa area are running out of fuel.
“MAGA motorists, I have a golden opportunity for you,” announced Trump in a video posted to his social media website. “Today only, I am offering you ‘Trump Gas’ starting at just $49.99 per gallon. It’s the most beautiful gas around.”
This is not the first product or bauble that Trump is hawking. In recent weeks, he has already tried to convince his followers, who are fueling the billionaire’s presidential campaign with their small-money donations, to purchase anything from gaudy watches and special silver coins to “God Bless the USA” Bibles made in China.
According to a website that the former president linked in the post, there are three types of “Trump Gas.”
The regular version is $49.99 per gallon. The “Drill, Baby, Drill” edition comes in a commemorative can with Trump’s face on it and costs loyal MAGA supporters $199.99 per gallon. And then there is the “Gold Star” version, which the former president praised in his video as the best way in which Republicans can show their appreciation.
“For my most loyal supporters hoping to escape this deadly hurricane, each gallon of the ‘Gold Star’ version contains one bead of my sweat from a recent rally,” Trump stated. “It comes in a signed container and can be yours for just $899.99. I know a great deal and, believe me, this is a great deal.”
He added that “Trump Gas not only allows you to flee from a storm that may kill you and your loved ones, but, more importantly, it will also allow you to show your love for your favorite president, me.”
Sources familiar with the former president’s thinking explained that Trump has been hoarding thousands of gallons of gasoline at his Mar-a-Lago estate and waited until now to unveil the offer because “nobody is going to spend this kind of money unless their lives depend on it.”
In the video, Trump also reiterated his criticism of the federal government, especially Vice President Kamala Harris, for not doing more in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene.
“They don’t care about you,” he said. “Only I do, which is why you should buy your gallon of Trump Gas now before it is too late.”
According to the website linked to in the post, each customer is limited to one gallon per order, and proof of citizenship is required to purchase.
When asked about this, especially in light of the massive size of Milton and the fact that a single gallon wouldn’t get people out of danger, sources familiar with the offer said this is done so that Trump is able to sell more commemorative cans.
In his Navigating the Insanity columns, Klaus Marre provides the kind of hard-hitting, thought-provoking, and often funny analysis you won’t find anywhere else.
