Donald Trump, on trial, New York
Illustration by DonkeyHotey for WhoWhatWhy from Vox España / Wikimedia (CC0 1.0 DEED), Ajay Suresh / Wikimedia (CC BY 2.0 DEED), a href="" target="_blank">Toglenn / Wikimedia (CC BY-SA 4.0 DEED), and Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos / Flickr (CC BY 2.0 DEED).

With Donald Trump’s criminal trial in New York City wrapping up, his acolytes have only limited opportunities left to prove their reverence.

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For many of the world’s major religions, a pilgrimage to one of their faith’s holy sites is essential. Every year, millions of Muslims flock to Mecca, devout Catholics travel to any number of places with a religious significance to them (from Lourdes to Vatican City), and Jews visit Jerusalem. Until very recently, there was no such place for any of the religious factions in the US. For one of them, that has now changed.

Adherents of the MAGA cult, especially those angling for the vice presidency, a cabinet position, or just a bunch of campaign cash, are making the journey to a Manhattan courthouse to pledge allegiance to their idol… Donald Trump.

What began as a trickle early last week had become a stream by Thursday, and there is no telling who will show up in New York City on Monday to do Trump’s bidding.

As pilgrimages go, this one is fairly convenient. Amtrak’s Acela runs multiple times a day and can make the trip from Washington, DC, in about three hours. And for those to whom that mode of transportation is too “green” (after all, denying the existence of climate change is one of the tenets of their faith), there are also plenty of flights available.

Once outside the courthouse, the only ritual required of them is to help Saint Donald circumvent a gag order that bars him from attacking the presiding judge’s daughter.

Oh, and proclaiming that all of the stuff the moral leader of the GOP has been accused of is some sort of conspiracy.

On second thought, they probably should also not mention that, at the heart of the trial, is the sexual tryst Trump had with a porn star while his third wife was pregnant and then tried to cover up with a huge hush money payment.

That stuff doesn’t really matter. What’s important is repeating that this is all a just a big witch hunt (ironically, previous North American pilgrims were not at the receiving end of those) that prevents Trump from campaigning, which is something that the former president keeps emphasizing during the rallies and speeches he does at least a couple of times weekly while the trial has been ongoing.

Well, at least according to Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), who made the trip on Thursday, being in the courtroom gives Trump ample time to pray… like a true martyr.

However, adherents to the MAGA cult who want to participate in this particular pilgrimage and are hoping to score a plum job in a second Trump administration will need to hurry.

While the other religious sites have been around for centuries, the trial is wrapping up… and there are only so many more opportunities to levy unfounded accusations against the judge, his family, and President Joe Biden. Or, in the case of Fox News, try to expose more jurors.

Of course, there is a chance that a MAGA acolyte made his or her way onto the jury, which would assure a mistrial… and then we can do it all over again.


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