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When following the broadcast of the World Cup draw on Friday, all those countries and corporations that have been plying Donald Trump with jets, gold bars, outright bribes, Jackie Chan movies, and “business opportunities” for his family must have been feeling pretty silly… because soccer’s governing body FIFA bested them all.

Sure, lining his pockets with money and trinkets is important to the president. However, what he really craves more than anything is adulation and, ultimately, immortality.

FIFA, an organization with a long history of corruption, realized that and found a unique way to please the president in the hopes of preventing him from ruining the World Cup, which will be held in the US, Canada, and Mexico next year: It created the most meaningless peace prize in history, made Trump its first recipient, and presented it to him on Friday in front of global celebrities and untold millions of fans eager to find out who their countries will play in the world’s marquee sporting event.

Just look at how pleased Trump is and how he can’t wait to get his hands on that gold medal.

Now, you might argue that the medal and that monstrosity of a trophy are also trinkets, but it is much more important what they represent, which is… well, nothing, actually, since the “FIFA Peace Prize” isn’t really a thing.

But it matters to Trump.

He doesn’t care that this is a shameless attempt to pander to him or that people are rolling their eyes at how embarrassing it is that the US president can be manipulated so easily.

In his mind, this isn’t a participation trophy but rather the greatest honor anybody has ever received.

“Who knew this was going to happen,” the president remarked in one of the funniest sentences he has ever uttered.

Everybody. That’s who knew this was going to happen.

Trump immediately returned the favor by siding with FIFA on the long-standing question of whether a sport actually played with a ball and feet should be called football, rather than one in which people carry an egg-shaped object in their hands.

“There is no question, we have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff,” Trump said with FIFA president Giovanni Infantino voicing his enthusiastic support in the background.

The entire thing was pretty hilarious because of how apparent and blatant FIFA’s attempt was to get on the president’s good side.

However, to us, by far the funniest aspect of this entire thing is that FIFA now has to award this “peace prize” every single year to keep up pretenses.

Fortunately, there are lots of narcissistic rulers that need to be pandered to, and the World Cup in 2034 will be held in Saudi Arabia, so Mohammed Bin Salman may want to create a bit of space on his mantle.